Writing a story is creating a world; there’s little nuances that need to be accounted for. Things that usually are taken for granted: the beige plaster of a wall, the scent of over-applied perfume, or tapping one’s foot in impatience. Words on a page are nothing if they don’t describe a believable scene. I’ve stumbled on this concept many times, but continue to learn ways to build my story content so it engages a reader and suspends belief. When it comes to content, there are five elements that need to be checked. If you don’t read all of them, review the first three. In this case, they are labeled by importance.
I. Description/Senses
Descriptive language is at the top of my list because it’s the element I had to work toward. I’m practically known for description now, but years ago, my readers experienced a “fog.” The fog is when characters are interacting and the plot is moving, but they seem to be in a vast room of nothingness. There’s no sense of place, which can disengage a reader. It also makes it confusing when trying to figure out a character’s movements.
Avoid the fog. Describe everything. Words can be cut later, but there needs to be information on the page. One way I love to describe scenery (prevents narration) is by using the senses. Smell and touch are my defaults, hearing and taste close behind. To show this usage, I have an excerpt from a story I completed for class:
“I walked out, thunder rolling over the darkened city. Cars zipped past, taking advantage of the empty streets. A jogger and cyclist passed me on the littered sidewalk, encompassed in their perfect worlds. The alleys reeked of rotting food and week-old diapers, sewer overflow moistening the concrete and increasing the stench. The further I went, the more depressing the view. Barbed wire fences, mangled and cut. Industrial buildings, creaking from age. The homeless occupied every corner, barely flinching at the distant gunshots and constant wails of the tortured. Trashcan fires lit the night, but no warmth escaped their blaze.”
Choice, Samantha Seidel. March 9, 2020
From this paragraph, the city around the character is described. There’s movement, smells, texture, and sound. Best part, the description is moving with the story. The plot doesn’t pause for a dissertation on the outlook of the city. It moves and provides more intrigue than “I walked.”
Use description to build the story and setting. Your readers will thank you. Just ask my editor. :)
II. Plot/Loopholes
The plot is very important. A story hinges on the believability of each step of the plot. Which is why loopholes are my nemesis.
For a story, there’s a specific idea or obstacle that must be accomplished in a certain way. A loophole says the character could’ve accomplished the same result a different way. Put the writer and reader in these situations: the writer wants the character to go on a big quest to save their family, but the reader notices they could’ve gone to the police and the adventure becomes obsolete.
Loopholes are hard to find on your own, so the best remedy is to get a second opinion. I had this situation in my story Choice when the character finds her family. I have her learn to fight and then attack, but my best friend realized the protagonist could give the location to the police and be done. Loopholes undermine the reader’s belief in the story. Reduced belief equals disengagement.
Think of every possibility for a scenario and build the foundation for why the road you choose is the only possible route. Let someone else read and see if they come to the same conclusion.
III. Characters/Idiosyncrasies
I love writing characters. It’s the best part about a book. Characters are how readers connect to the story and an emotional connection between the two builds a life-long fan. That’s why the content of a character needs to be realistic and well-planned.
Think about what makes a person appealing. Is it their looks? Their personality? Their witty remarks? How they like peanut butter but not peanuts? Despise following the rules but never argue with their mom? Though small details, these ideas make a character more human.
How about habits. Do they turn red with anger? Crack their knuckles when in thought? Stand stalk straight? Slouch in their seat? Never look people in the eye? Never look at themselves in a mirror? Again, small details, big difference.
The best part about “fleshing out” a character is how the habits, idiosyncrasies, and personality traits can be used to build the plot and make the story more interesting. Perhaps the conflict is a ghost hunt but the character doesn’t believe in apparitions. Or, they do believe and highly admire ghosts. Whatever the combination, characters can change the effect of a story if written well.
IV. Audience
“Who is your reader? Who are you hoping to reach? And don’t say ‘everyone.’ No book will reach everyone.”
Eva Marie Everson. Common Mistakes Writers Make (United States of America: Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas, 2014), 10-11.
The importance of audience is a little more new to me. I didn’t have to think about it until a publisher asked if I could write a children’s series. Going from Young Adult to Kids is more of a transition than I would’ve expected.
Different audiences will have different themes, language, and thematic events. High schoolers can read a curse-less kids book about bunny helping his friend (though they probably won’t do so willingly), but kindergartners won’t read a mild language novel about a murderer escaping prison. Think about the audience. Who’s the book for? Who does it help? Who does it relate to?
Narrowing down an audience guides the direction of the story and how it’s told.
V. Grammar
Grammar gets on everyone’s nerves, but it’s vital to the success of a story. Here’s what I mean:
For my story class at college, we had to read some of our peers’ stories. I had been replying to one person throughout the quarter, learning about her characters and getting hooked on her plot. I could barely hold my excitement when I downloaded her file.
The moment I started reading, I had to restrain my hands. The grammar was all over the place. Too many commas in all the wrong places. Awkwardly worded sentences. It took everything in me to not edit, and even then, I’m not sure I knew how best to fix it.
A story idea can be mind-blowing, but if the execution is subpar, the rest means nothing. A reader will see the mistakes rather than the hard work put into setting and character development. It takes time, but editing the grammar is well worth the effort.