Show not Tell: 3 Simple Tricks for Descriptive Writing

“Show, don’t tell.” The mantra of any good writer, and my nemesis for a long while. 85k words and I didn’t “show enough.” Everyone lived in a “fog” and my descriptions (amongst other things) had to get better. I had to learn the meaning of descriptive writing over time. I realized recently that, like mini me, others struggle with showing rather than telling. Since I’m now known in my critique group for having phenomenal description, I figured a post was due.

Your primary goal when writing description is to immerse your reader into the world you’re creating. As the character walks along a cracked sidewalk beside a busy road, they walk along the sidewalk. Show not tell also refers to describing visual cues. A twitch of the eye, shuddering hands. Leaves dancing on the breeze or a flat tire spinning inconsistently. There are various ways to accomplish this lofty goal, but I’m gonna give you three to get your descriptive journey in motion.

Five Senses

Biology 101, guys. Humans experience the world with five senses: see, hear, smell, taste, touch. The sense of sight is really easy to use for writing. You describe colors, shapes, faces. Easy. But relying on one sense creates a one-dimensional experience. Audiobooks bring in sound, but that’s still a two-dimensional world that you might not have the money to pay for. That’s why prioritizing language that involves all the senses is vital to an engaging story.

I primarily rely on sight, sound, and smell, throwing in touch for texture and occasionally taste. What works to your benefit is that people across the globe experience these senses regularly. No need to explain what spoiled milk smells like or how unsanded wood makes your fingers tingle. Even in a fantasy, experiences are fairly the same. Bones jostling with the rocking of a horse or the clink of metal links. Gears humming as you shoot through hyperspace, a tinge of lead hardening your tongue.

Okay, maybe you’ve never tasted lead (hopefully not). But action verbs like “harden” and “jostle” guide a reader toward the correct feeling. It’s a dance of experience and analogy. When they’re in sync, your piece flows like a racing river with cold droplets splashing the dainty, sweet flowers. Basically, you drag the reader into a sensory experience they can’t bear to leave. Focus on bringing the reader into your realm.

Draw Floor Plans/Maps

Ya’ll are lucky; I recently discovered the merit of this point with my book Foresight. Here’s an exclusive freebie: I researched building floor plans for every structure in the book. Police station, houses, homeless shelter. My first book (unpublished) taught me that I fell short when it comes to laying out a building and recognizing necessities like bathrooms and walls. I’d turn myself around on most occasions, uncertain where my characters even stood.

When you’re bad at directions like me, it’s even more important to have a map or floor plan to guide your movements. If you’re an architecture aficionado, then have at it; create your own structures and layouts. Either way, a basic framework is for your benefit. Understanding where hallways, rooms, kitchens, and other spaces lay allow you to guide the reader through the building as if they were the main character traipsing through the dungeon halls. Having some firm walls also provide space for decoration, meaning more description.

I’ve been pretty lucky to find all the locations I need on the web, but I did have to design a few spaces on my own. If you’re creating a fantasy world or sci-fi structure, understanding the makeup of architecture can help. Research cities, nieghborhoods, states, houses. Get a working knowledge of what’s needed and how people usually lay out such spaces and then adapt. All you need are some rough pencil sketches and you’re solid.

Describe the Word

I recently read Runner by Patrick Lee and my greatest fascination was his method of description. In chapter twelve, he describes a young girl physically and characteristically (hobbies, interests, personality, etc.). Without outright saying the obvious, he gave the distinct impression that she was a cancer patient. Later confirmed, but the extent Lee went to make this single-scene character real floored me. All because he decided not to say “cancer.”

The sheer amount of words that compose the English language make it easy to describe something within 1-3 words. What we need more of, however, are descriptions that expound upon the general meanings of those 1-3 words. No forest has the same rich pine scent or crackling rustle when the wind blows. No person has the 9-5 shift that starves their spirit of inspiration. It takes more effort, but choosing a longer route of description can show more than the scenery. How your character perceives the world and hints as to what’s coming are revealed through proper description.

That said, it can’t be done all the time. Lee described the cancer child with two pages yet labeled the primary character as a doctor within two sentences. Lengthy description needs purpose. Otherwise, it becomes filler. Look at the words you use to describe certain aspects. Does it make sense? Is more needed to help comprehension? How can the description move the characters or plot forward? Ask yourself these questions while editing and consider spending more than one word.

Final Thoughts: Visualize, then Write

When I say I’ve got a foot in reality and a hold on fantasy, I truly mean it. Whenver I’m writing my novel, I stand beside my character Stacy. Sometimes I am her, taking my thoughts in the scene and running them through her personality. Where she goes, I go. What she sees, I experience. Same for Damian whenever he gets a chapter. I also check in with side characters to get a feel for their reactions and expressions.

Get into the heads of your characters. Walk with them through the story. Writing from your own immersion is the greatest tool for description because you’re writing from personal experience rather than a benevolent narrator. You’re in the struggle with them, and when you write from that struggle, others read the conflict. Don’t be afraid to make friends, and enemies, in your novels.